One day I decided-

“One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.  It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.” -Gabby Sibide

Life’s about choices, and perspectives. Forget the glass-half-empty-glass-half-full regime, but what about when you get lost on your way to a new place? You miss a flight? You left the shampoo on the counter AGAIN, and now you’re soaking wet?  Is it an adventure or a curse?

My sister turned 12 this year, and is one of those morning people. Yeah. All cheerful and talkative, and let’s-go-fly-a-kite, and I’m all like “gee-it’s-morning” and feeling my way to the tea kettle.  You know what?  It is HARD to be pleasant and interested in what the cat did last night, or the deep troubles of the other cat, or what Snoopy said in the last Peanuts she read. And Miss Blonde over here can get pretty short, if she’s not careful.  And yes, I did set some boundaries, but think about it. How many 12-year-olds want to hang out with their big sister?  Most girls her age like boys and… boys, I guess, and it’s a big privilege I get to spend time with her. If I’m gone this summer, I won’t be there for her, and she’ll miss me. Which is kinda amazing, now I think it through. So you know what, I’m glad she talks my ear off about the cat every single day. Because I love her.

What about being there for people who hurt you? Like, hurtyoureallybadly? There’s a woman in my life who has said some of the unkindest and cruelest things I’ve ever had anyone say to me.  She’s called me some horrible things.  She hurts my feelings.  And I don’t want to talk to her.  Everyone told me not to, by the way, she’s 70 years old and really should know better.  And I don’t HAVE to be there for her. But one day I realized that I was the only Christian in her life. That I could take being picturesqly and basically called a slut, because I’m the only woman she has in her life, the only Christian, and she needs me. And she wants me to be there for her, even though she hurts me. And I’m bigger than name calling.

By the way, it’s still not easy.

Perspective is bleh, sometimes.

So take a minute.  Decide you’re beautiful. Even if you think you’re the ugliest person in the world – and please don’t tell me you’ve never seen that horrible tag on facebook and said EXACTLY that – decide you’re going to act like you’re beautiful.
Mum gave me some advice. Well, two pieces of advice. One was never wear white shoes before Easter, and the second was that if you couldn’t do right, keep faking it until you did.  Both are good, the second more applicable. Decide you’re nice. Decide today is you’re-going-to-love-people-anyway day.

And who knows. Maybe someday I’ll be a morning person.


2 thoughts on “One day I decided-

  1. I enjoyed this writing. You don’t have to be a morning person – you are wonderful just as you are. Love U – Aunt Nancy

  2. Thanks for sharing your feelings. Your sister is fortunate to have you for a sister (and vice versa). Always enjoy your blog. Grammy

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